Tag: divorce counselling

emotional abuse

Suffering Emotional Abuse And walking Away From It

The beginning

Katy and Fred met through a couple of friends and they were off to a great start. Katy was somebody who suffered with mental health. But having met Fred, she felt like she found her place in the world. They both clicked instantly as they both dabbled with drugs and loved going to parties. Despite the fact that Katy did not get the proper medical attention for her mental health, the course of the relationship with Fred offered her temporary solution to her problems.

Marriage:

Fred and Katy decided that their partying days had to end and decided to get married and start a family. Katy claims that they had a loving relationship, but something felt amiss and she decided to ignore them anyway as Fred seemed supportive and non-judgmental of her mental problems. Katy would often find that money was missing from home and she would think that she was losing her mind.

Getting help:

Katy finally got help by going to a hospital and she was diagnosed with dysthymia. She took medication for it and everything was clearer to her. Later, she was able to notice that Fred’s behaviour was somehow off and with that, she found that Fred had incurred lots of debts. She was scarred when people came at their doors for asking the money that Fred had taken from them. She felt like her whole life was a complete lie.

Final blow:

Fred and Katy went for counselling to save their marriage. With time, they planned on a trip for their 10th year anniversary with some saved up money. But some things were never meant to be as some money went missing. It was Fred who stole it. Katy was heartbroken and knew there and then that Fred never cared for anyone but himself. She ended the marriage.

Rebirth:

Katy reconnected with friends and families and started afresh. As a victim of emotional abuse, it was not easy for her to get back on her feet. But as she took one step at a time, things have been better with the support of friends and families. As of today, Katy is a survivor and has learned to walk away from trauma by believing in herself.

new study

New Study Shows That Divorce is Bad For Health

According to recent researches, divorcees are more likely to indulge in unhealthy habits like smoking, alcoholism, avoiding physical exercises and finally falling into depression.

These behaviours are also expected to shorten lives or cause severe mental or physical illness. The correlation between these vital health concerns is proven by the researches of Kyle Bourassa and a team from the University of Arizona.

Bourassa and the team conducted a study on 5,786 adults over the age of 50 from the English Longitudinal Study of Aging. Out of these participants, 4,860 are married whereas the rest were unmarried, divorced or separated.

The data collected the participants’ life satisfaction, smoking status and exercise habits, lung functions and level of inflammation while keeping tracks of them during the period of study and the results predicted that the married participants were expected to live longer than the divorced or unmarried subjects.

On further examination of the data, it was also evident that there were lower physical activities, lesser enthusiasm and poorer lung functions because the divorced participants were more prone to smoking. The reason for the poorer performance of the divorcees was presumably the absence of responsibility for another person which made them lead a casual lifestyle.

According to relationship experts, Chantal Heide and Jessica O‘Reilly, the cause of depression are probably the psychological stress, anxiety and temporary distress that most of the divorcees faced.

The transitions in finance, housing, interaction, sleeping pattern and other life changes lead them to either pick an unhealthy habit or aggravate the existing practices.

The study also concluded that even with some exceptions, women fared better than the men in recovering from the bad habits and in dealing with the post-divorce depression because they are more open to socialising and willing to seek positive changes through counselling or therapy.

The men, on the other hand, were more reluctant to seek emotional support because of gender issues even though that notion is rapidly changing with time.

While not all the divorcees fall into the depressive habit, Heidi and O’ Reily stated that making positive changes ease the symptoms of depression. Activities like isolation for mental and psychological clarity, finding social support groups, adopting healthier eating and habits and lifestyle activities are some of the positive changes that can help deal with the desolation.