Tag: couples therapy

Co-parenting in a Strained Relationship

How do you face your partner when you still have resentment for the failure of your relationship? How do you cope with the anxiety whenever you keep them in charge of someone who means the world to you?

The solution is not easy, but possible. In this article, we will provide you with practical steps to help you manage to co-parent your child in a cordial and dignified manner.

  • Be honest about your feelings

Whether you tell your partner about your inability to be cordial with them is up to you, but do not try to deny that you are struggling. That way, your partner will be more sensitive about the way they talk or act around you. You will also find it easier to follow the next step.

  • Remind yourself that it is not the child’s fault

Sometimes people tend to divert the blame and resentment on others. The resemblance and the connection between your partner and your child might frustrate you sometimes, but your child deserves loving parents no matter how it comes.

  • Always put your child’s happiness first

Children need both their parents to develop mentally and emotionally. Even if the parents do not communicate well, make sure that you divide enough time so that the child can receive both qualities of the mother and the father.

  • Avoid paying attention to negative traits of your partner

If you really cannot avoid meeting your partner and even if you are moving on and doing better without them, remember that your child still needs him/her. You don’t have to pretend to be interested in their lives. You only have to make sure they are there for the child.

  • What they do is no longer your business

Harsh, but true. Once you have separated, do not forget that they are no longer a part of your responsibility. The only thing you can focus on is the welfare of your kid and executing your best to play the role. If your partner does not do the same, it is no longer your responsibility to try and coax them. Focus on fulfilling your side of the trust.

Take care of Yourself

If all these feels like too much of a task, consult a therapist or seek counselling from professionals. The emotional and moral support you get from sharing your thoughts with someone who wants to look out for your best makes things easier.

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couples therapy

Five Signs You and Your Partner Need Couples Therapy

Building a stable relationship with your partner is a task that comes with many challenges, but the rewards can be sweet. But when you are continually arguing about minor issues, it can be problematic both for your relationship and for your mental health. To solve problems and deal with the challenges in dealing with a partner, sometimes the only way is to consult a couples therapist.

Though many people avoid therapy sessions or refuse to admit that they are in dire need of an intervention, it is vital to approach one if you want to save the relationship or improve the situations and move forward in life together.

According to Natasha Sharma, a relationship therapist based in Toronto, there are five vital signs that you should watch out for to find out if you need a therapist.

Frequent Arguments

Sharma states that even though all relationships have conflicts, some couples deal with them with the wrong approach. If the arguments drain you mentally and physically, you can find the root of it with the help of a therapist.

Different Life Visions

Building a stable relationship requires couples to envision the same future. For example, if one wants to kids or move to another city and the other does not see it happening, it could likely jeopardise the future, and only a counsellor can help you find ways to compromise on it.

Additional Stressor

Feelings such as insecurity, jealousy or mistrusts and infidelity often require an expert to help you cope or deal with the impact together or as an individual.

Infertility or Miscarriage

Unfortunate conditions like infertility or having a miscarriage are a common factor that drifts couples apart. While trying to come in terms with such loss, it is advisable to consult an expert for psychological and mental therapy.

Unhappiness

If you are not happy with your partner anymore or you do not find any enthusiasm in taking the relationship forward, the most straightforward way is to see a counsellor that can help you figure out the cause, remedies or the best strategies to preserve your integrity.

Couples therapy also offers support for physical abuse and mistreatment and if you feel the slightest need for reassurance, security or emotional support, any time is a good time to try a couples therapy with your partner if you are willing.

preparing families for separation

Preparing Families to Cope With Separation with Dr.Ellie Bolgar

According to the current statistics on common-law relationships, the rate of breakups and divorce in Canada is approximately 50% higher than the last couple of years. This has led to an imminent need for attention on the impact it creates on families, especially the children because researches and statistics show that the adverse effect of divorce on children is due to the conflict of the parents rather than the process of the divorce.

According to Dr. Ellie Bolgar, a Couples Therapist based in Langley, the consequences of separation and un-coupling creates a challenging transition for each person involved in the family in a unique and diverse way.

Adapting an affirmative program can prepare families and couples to progress from uncertainty to an organized and healthy relationship that could ensure happier and better wellbeing in the future with dignity.

Dr. Bolgar, the Family Mediator in Langley, devised an effective approached that can prepare and assist a divorcing couple, family breakup or uncoupling of a common-law union with an in-depth understanding and analysis of the situation and finding strategies to cope to help the family to readjust their life with minimum stress during or after the separation.

Since the legal system in Ontario cannot put the social and emotional impression as their priority, each family member has to find a coping solution to suit their unique psychological and emotional responses. By combining a psychological approach with legal family laws, Dr. Bolgar uses a thoughtful approach to bringing peace and acceptance to people in need of mental and emotional support when they have to confront a family issue.

The impact of transition varies for children and adult, but anxiety, depression, and disturbed psychology is common in both. Counseling sessions are highly effective is equipping the family members with a positive mechanism to grieve, cope and move forward even within a blended family.

As a Professor, Dr. Bolgar also believes that counseling can also help children to adjust and nurtured to continue the attachment to both parents after or during the separation process for the productive years of the children’s personality and emotional development.