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Finding Love Outside an Unhappy Marriage

After 16 years of marriage, Tara found herself bidding her time in an unhappy marriage where she felt that the love and affection were lost. Even her two kids could sense that the husband disliked her and they had not made physical contact for years. It was devastating her emotionally and mentally.

Unhealthy Marriage

Tara had no alternatives but to stay in the marriage because of financial fears as she was not earning enough to support herself and her two kids. She also did not dare to face the emotional and financial strain of putting the kids in different homes.

Miserable and Unhappy

Tara was living a desperately unhappy and miserable married life until she met Grant at her daughter’s school. They started bonding over the kids at the playground and soon found out about each other’s unhappiness and the conditions that led them to stay in a relationship that was no longer good for their emotional and mental health.

Facing Reality

Eventually, Tara and Grant fell in love despite still being in separate marriages, and when they told their partners about it, the news worsened the situation. Grant’s wife threatened to take their kids and move back to Germany while Tara’s husband realized his love for her too late. It caused so much emotional strain on both their families that they were not ready to live together yet.

Dealing with the Consequences Through Counselling

Tara and her husband went to a marriage counselling, but it did not change her feelings about Grant. The counseling was adequate for a few months during which time they were able to sort out an amicable separation nearby where they could co-parent the kids.

Grant dealt with the situation in his terms while keeping his distance from Tara and allowing them to cope with their different positions in their way separately.

A year later, Grant came back to Tara’s life after a clean break up with his wife, and they are now engaged and happier than ever. They dealt with their complicated relationships with the help of a counsellor and emerged successful in creating a more comfortable life for themselves.

new study

New Study Shows That Divorce is Bad For Health

According to recent researches, divorcees are more likely to indulge in unhealthy habits like smoking, alcoholism, avoiding physical exercises and finally falling into depression.

These behaviours are also expected to shorten lives or cause severe mental or physical illness. The correlation between these vital health concerns is proven by the researches of Kyle Bourassa and a team from the University of Arizona.

Bourassa and the team conducted a study on 5,786 adults over the age of 50 from the English Longitudinal Study of Aging. Out of these participants, 4,860 are married whereas the rest were unmarried, divorced or separated.

The data collected the participants’ life satisfaction, smoking status and exercise habits, lung functions and level of inflammation while keeping tracks of them during the period of study and the results predicted that the married participants were expected to live longer than the divorced or unmarried subjects.

On further examination of the data, it was also evident that there were lower physical activities, lesser enthusiasm and poorer lung functions because the divorced participants were more prone to smoking. The reason for the poorer performance of the divorcees was presumably the absence of responsibility for another person which made them lead a casual lifestyle.

According to relationship experts, Chantal Heide and Jessica O‘Reilly, the cause of depression are probably the psychological stress, anxiety and temporary distress that most of the divorcees faced.

The transitions in finance, housing, interaction, sleeping pattern and other life changes lead them to either pick an unhealthy habit or aggravate the existing practices.

The study also concluded that even with some exceptions, women fared better than the men in recovering from the bad habits and in dealing with the post-divorce depression because they are more open to socialising and willing to seek positive changes through counselling or therapy.

The men, on the other hand, were more reluctant to seek emotional support because of gender issues even though that notion is rapidly changing with time.

While not all the divorcees fall into the depressive habit, Heidi and O’ Reily stated that making positive changes ease the symptoms of depression. Activities like isolation for mental and psychological clarity, finding social support groups, adopting healthier eating and habits and lifestyle activities are some of the positive changes that can help deal with the desolation.

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