Category: <span>Marriage Counselling</span>

62 years of marriage and their take on marriage counselling

Couple Married for 62 Years and Their Take on Marriage Counselling

Whenever a married couple seeks the help of a counsellor, it gets people talking. Neighbors, friends, and anyone who knows the couple start assuming that the marriage is falling apart. Some people go so far as to assume extramarital affairs and many other problems. 

But this is not always the case. Take the example of Ralph and Bev Milton. The couple has been married for a grand 62 years. And they have not been shy about seeking the help of marriage counsellors to make the marriage successful. In fact, the couple has been through four seasons of professional counselling in the course of their marriage. 

Ralph was a co-owner of a publishing house that deals with liberal Christian books. On the other hand, his wife Bev served as a United Church minister. 

The couple does not think that seeking professional help in their marriage is easy. The beginning is always the hardest. They also understand that it can be difficult to confess certain things to your partner. 

But they know that the benefits of the counselling are better than the risk of not looking for professional help. The retired couple also believes that there are other important components for a successful marriage.

What are the ingredients for a successful marriage?

According to the Miltons, there are a number of factors that make a marriage successful. These include:

  • Professional marriage counselling – It is one of the most important components of a successful marriage. The Miltons believe that irrespective of the time you spend together as a couple, changes occur in life. It can be personal interests, and children growing up, among others. 

 

All of these changes can affect everyone differently. So professional counselling offers a couple the chance to examine their relationship, evaluate their strengths, and find ways to enrich their relationship even further. 

 

  • Having common interests – Another very essential component of a successful marriage is having common interests. It can be as mundane as cooking, hiking, or enjoying each other’s company. This allows couples to bond more and have a deeper connection with each other.

 

  • A network of friends – The Miltons do not underestimate the value of having meaningful friends in their network. The bigger the network is, the better. 

 

Having a solid network of friends will broaden your relationships. These friends also become indispensable when you face some problems as a couple or as an individual. 

 

  • Cultivate individual interests – Another very important ingredient of a successful marriage is to cultivate individual interests. While it is crucial to spend meaningful time as a couple, it is also essential to spend time away from each other. 

 

This way, you are not always invading each other’s space and getting on each other’s nerves. Spending time away from each other also makes you value the time you spend in each other’s company. 

Final thoughts

Seeking professional counseling can feel similar to starting the marriage all over again. But it shows your commitment to each other. It also reflects how much you are willing to work to make the marriage successful.

Worst Mistake Committed by Parents Undergoing Divorce.

Worst Mistake Committed by Parents Undergoing Divorce.

Did you know that January is called the divorce month and that the first Monday after the new years as the divorce day? All over Canada, a large number of people undergo divorce all throughout the year, but the figures are significantly higher right after the holidays are over.

Irrespective of the month of the year, divorce is a stressful and emotionally draining time. The couple undergoing the divorce is no doubt under a lot of stress. The end of a relationship can be painful, and when children are involved, it can be even more complicated.

The children are as vulnerable and undergo a lot of pain during this fragile transition. Patience, understanding, and careful handling of the situation are of vital importance so that no one is hurt or disrespected during the process.

We can all agree that not all divorce proceedings end on friendly and amicable terms. But when parents take their battle to social media, it can have far-reaching and devastating effects on the children. This is one of the worst mistakes a couple undergoing a divorce can commit, possibly causing irreparable damage.

 

How social media can affect children and divorce proceedings.

One of the most frightening things about the internet is that once you put something out there, it never really leaves. You can delete the tweets and pictures, but your footprints are already imprinted on the internet.

It can affect your kids and your case in the following ways.

  • Anything related to the divorce that you post online can affect your children’s psyche in a significant way
  • Negative statements and talking bad about your spouse can have a lifelong impact on the children
  • The texts that you put out can be used as evidence against you, especially if they are insensitive and negative statements about your spouse.

 

How to make the divorce easy for the children and yourself.

There is no divorce that is fun and celebration. However, instead of washing your proverbial laundry all over the internet, Harmony Counselling offer you some ways you can protect the children and yourself.

  • Refrain from posting negative things about your partner or the divorce on social media. Apply the same rules when it comes to emails and texts.
  • Don’t argue in front of the children, no matter how angry you are
  • Be supportive of the children and provide them with tangible answers when they ask you something
  • Reassure them of your love for them and be supportive

Finding Love Outside an Unhappy Marriage

After 16 years of marriage, Tara found herself bidding her time in an unhappy marriage where she felt that the love and affection were lost. Even her two kids could sense that the husband disliked her and they had not made physical contact for years. It was devastating her emotionally and mentally.

Unhealthy Marriage

Tara had no alternatives but to stay in the marriage because of financial fears as she was not earning enough to support herself and her two kids. She also did not dare to face the emotional and financial strain of putting the kids in different homes.

Miserable and Unhappy

Tara was living a desperately unhappy and miserable married life until she met Grant at her daughter’s school. They started bonding over the kids at the playground and soon found out about each other’s unhappiness and the conditions that led them to stay in a relationship that was no longer good for their emotional and mental health.

Facing Reality

Eventually, Tara and Grant fell in love despite still being in separate marriages, and when they told their partners about it, the news worsened the situation. Grant’s wife threatened to take their kids and move back to Germany while Tara’s husband realized his love for her too late. It caused so much emotional strain on both their families that they were not ready to live together yet.

Dealing with the Consequences Through Counselling

Tara and her husband went to a marriage counselling, but it did not change her feelings about Grant. The counseling was adequate for a few months during which time they were able to sort out an amicable separation nearby where they could co-parent the kids.

Grant dealt with the situation in his terms while keeping his distance from Tara and allowing them to cope with their different positions in their way separately.

A year later, Grant came back to Tara’s life after a clean break up with his wife, and they are now engaged and happier than ever. They dealt with their complicated relationships with the help of a counsellor and emerged successful in creating a more comfortable life for themselves.