Category: Family Counselling

62 years of marriage and their take on marriage counselling

Couple Married for 62 Years and Their Take on Marriage Counselling

Whenever a married couple seeks the help of a counsellor, it gets people talking. Neighbors, friends, and anyone who knows the couple start assuming that the marriage is falling apart. Some people go so far as to assume extramarital affairs and many other problems. 

But this is not always the case. Take the example of Ralph and Bev Milton. The couple has been married for a grand 62 years. And they have not been shy about seeking the help of marriage counsellors to make the marriage successful. In fact, the couple has been through four seasons of professional counselling in the course of their marriage. 

Ralph was a co-owner of a publishing house that deals with liberal Christian books. On the other hand, his wife Bev served as a United Church minister. 

The couple does not think that seeking professional help in their marriage is easy. The beginning is always the hardest. They also understand that it can be difficult to confess certain things to your partner. 

But they know that the benefits of the counselling are better than the risk of not looking for professional help. The retired couple also believes that there are other important components for a successful marriage.

What are the ingredients for a successful marriage?

According to the Miltons, there are a number of factors that make a marriage successful. These include:

  • Professional marriage counselling – It is one of the most important components of a successful marriage. The Miltons believe that irrespective of the time you spend together as a couple, changes occur in life. It can be personal interests, and children growing up, among others. 

 

All of these changes can affect everyone differently. So professional counselling offers a couple the chance to examine their relationship, evaluate their strengths, and find ways to enrich their relationship even further. 

 

  • Having common interests – Another very essential component of a successful marriage is having common interests. It can be as mundane as cooking, hiking, or enjoying each other’s company. This allows couples to bond more and have a deeper connection with each other.

 

  • A network of friends – The Miltons do not underestimate the value of having meaningful friends in their network. The bigger the network is, the better. 

 

Having a solid network of friends will broaden your relationships. These friends also become indispensable when you face some problems as a couple or as an individual. 

 

  • Cultivate individual interests – Another very important ingredient of a successful marriage is to cultivate individual interests. While it is crucial to spend meaningful time as a couple, it is also essential to spend time away from each other. 

 

This way, you are not always invading each other’s space and getting on each other’s nerves. Spending time away from each other also makes you value the time you spend in each other’s company. 

Final thoughts

Seeking professional counseling can feel similar to starting the marriage all over again. But it shows your commitment to each other. It also reflects how much you are willing to work to make the marriage successful.

Worst Mistake Committed by Parents Undergoing Divorce.

Worst Mistake Committed by Parents Undergoing Divorce.

Did you know that January is called the divorce month and that the first Monday after the new years as the divorce day? All over Canada, a large number of people undergo divorce all throughout the year, but the figures are significantly higher right after the holidays are over.

Irrespective of the month of the year, divorce is a stressful and emotionally draining time. The couple undergoing the divorce is no doubt under a lot of stress. The end of a relationship can be painful, and when children are involved, it can be even more complicated.

The children are as vulnerable and undergo a lot of pain during this fragile transition. Patience, understanding, and careful handling of the situation are of vital importance so that no one is hurt or disrespected during the process.

We can all agree that not all divorce proceedings end on friendly and amicable terms. But when parents take their battle to social media, it can have far-reaching and devastating effects on the children. This is one of the worst mistakes a couple undergoing a divorce can commit, possibly causing irreparable damage.

 

How social media can affect children and divorce proceedings.

One of the most frightening things about the internet is that once you put something out there, it never really leaves. You can delete the tweets and pictures, but your footprints are already imprinted on the internet.

It can affect your kids and your case in the following ways.

  • Anything related to the divorce that you post online can affect your children’s psyche in a significant way
  • Negative statements and talking bad about your spouse can have a lifelong impact on the children
  • The texts that you put out can be used as evidence against you, especially if they are insensitive and negative statements about your spouse.

 

How to make the divorce easy for the children and yourself.

There is no divorce that is fun and celebration. However, instead of washing your proverbial laundry all over the internet, Harmony Counselling offer you some ways you can protect the children and yourself.

  • Refrain from posting negative things about your partner or the divorce on social media. Apply the same rules when it comes to emails and texts.
  • Don’t argue in front of the children, no matter how angry you are
  • Be supportive of the children and provide them with tangible answers when they ask you something
  • Reassure them of your love for them and be supportive
Importance of Marriage Counselling for Modern Couples

Importance of Marriage Counselling for Modern Couples

Unlike other areas of personal development and relationships, many people do not give precedence to marriage counselling. And it is not just the couples but society as a whole. Irrespective of socio-economic growth, many people associate marriage counselling as a sign of trouble within the marriage.

In many cases, this stereotyping and lack of understanding prevent couples from getting the right help at the right time. This has resulted in a lot of broken families and bitter exes.

At Harmony Counselling, we believe that marriage counselling can be a lifeline for those couples who have issues that threaten the relationship. It can also work to build up and strengthen new couples who have recently entered this sacred union.

Reasons why marriage counselling can be extremely beneficial for married couples include:

 

  1. Support for nuclear families

Unlike the olden days, most newlyweds live separate from their parents. When problems such as personal differences and financial issues arise, couples need unbiased support and direction.

 

  1. Improves communication

Since communication is the heart of every relationship, lack of it or communicating in the wrong way can result in a lot of pent up animosity and misunderstanding. Marriage counselling provides couples with the right skills to communicate effectively and proactively.

 

  1. Tackle issues related to finance

Couples struggling with issues related to how they spend and manage money are more common than you can imagine. It is also a major reason why many relationships end in tears. Marriage counselling can equip couples with the right strategies and valuable insights that can transform your finances and your marriage.

 

  1. Set boundaries and expectations

When couples get married and the honeymoon period is over, the realities of everyday life can hit you like an avalanche. Everything from household chores to running errands and taking care of personal self can all become a mess when couples set unrealistic expectations.

These can lead to friction in the relationship and lead to devastating results. Someone who can objectively and professionally point out these matters can improve your relationship and enrich your life. You can achieve this through marriage counselling.

 

  1. Improve the relationship

You don’t have to be undergoing problems to seek marriage counselling. Marriage is a commitment for life, and you will live with your significant other for the remainder of your lives.

Marriage counselling can offer you a great opportunity to develop and nurture this relationship so you can learn to live together, harmoniously, and in love.

Workshop on Community Safety in Kenora

On October 18, 2019, a good number of community stakeholders attended a workshop under the banner “Community Safety and Well-Being.” Ever since the legislation of Ontario made it compulsory for municipalities to develop community safety plans, Kenora has been on the forefront by making a lot of changes in the community.

This was noted by the MD of Canadian Municipal Network on Crime Prevention, Felix Munger, who also facilitated the workshop. Kenora’s Community Safety and Well Being Plan was introduced in 2015, way before the mandatory law was introduced.

What topics are discussed in these workshops?

 

Kenora’s community members are proactively trying to identify the root causes of crimes in the community. In these types of workshop and forum, a wide range of problems and social issues are discussed at length. In this particular workshop, community members focused on these issues:

  • Mental health and addiction – Mr. Munger comments that up to 80% of calls made to the police are related to social disorder. The calls that are crime-related almost always are a result of addiction and/or mental health issues.
  • Youth – Sheri Norlen from the Creighton Youth Centre in Kenora emphasizes the need to connect with young offenders on a personal level. Ignoring their individual needs has a direct link to criminal behaviour. She suggested different measures, which includes child counselling, connecting with family, anger management classes. Through these programs, she hopes to get to the bottom of their criminal behaviours.
  • Housing and poverty
  • Human trafficking/sexual exploitation
  • Violence/victimization

 

Why does traditional criminal justice not work for young people?

 

According to data, the traditional criminal justice system is not effective for the young folks. It is because the traditional system primarily involves punishment of some sort and trying to correct the criminal behaviour.

It does not attempt to get to the bottom and isolate the reason behind the criminal activity. Ms. Norlen, who is a manager of services that works with young offenders in the age group of 12 to 18, says that understanding the needs of these erring youngsters as people is the best way to correct the behaviour.

She is of the opinion that most criminal activity has roots that can be traced to family problems as well as poverty. Along with her, the entire community of Kenora hopes to keep their youth in a stable environment through prevention programs as well as workshops. These can be a solace for young offenders to stay sober, regroup and make changes in their lives.

 

 

 

 

How Counselling Can Transform Your Life

Family is the most important part of our lives. It is where the personality of a child is heavily influenced. It is impossible for a couple or a parent and child to live as a family if they do not accept each other. There will be constant fights and screaming matches if they don’t understand each other, the relationship will be very terrible. The key to building a happy relationship and a happy family is counselling.

Counselling will help you understand and realize your strengths, your weaknesses, and how you can control and manage your anger. By going through counselling, you and your family will be able to connect with the love, peace and happiness that was lost.

It is true that living with another human being can be complicated. As humans, we have our ego, the way we think is totally different, the way we see things, and so on. It can be extremely difficult to accept one another’s habits, especially for new couples. You will see and understand things differently after counselling. Someone rightfully said, “What good is a house if it’s not a home?” Investing a little bit of time and effort into building a healthy relationship is more important than anything else.

Harmony Counselling uses the most effective therapies to heal, and recapture lost friendships, to rebuild a strong and lasting relationship. If you are not fully committed, the outcome may not be positive. So, guaranteeing the results is a risky thing. However, the therapists will do everything they can to help. They are passionate and dedicated to helping people.

An excellent way to start reigniting the fire is by taking care of your physical health.  The Harmony Med Spa Oshawa is the right place to achieve this. They are specialized in all sorts of skin treatments. Their services include hair removal, tattoo removal, skin tightening, Hydra facial, Mona Lisa touch and many others. It’s worth a visit.