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how to succeed in parenthood

How To Succeed In Parenthood Without Straining Your Relationship

While the experience of parenthood is a gift in itself, strictly speaking, it comes with its own set of challenges. It is common that the experience of having a baby often drives a wedge between partners and therefore, the relationship fizzles out and the whole journey of experiencing parenthood with your significant other becomes an exhausting journey. To avoid that, there are four simple points that new parents can take note of to make parenthood an enjoyable and a nourishing experience.

  • Equal distribution of work:

When one of the partners does all the work, it definitely becomes a deal-breaker. It is necessary that both the parents have their hand in raising the child together. Make sure that both the partners pull their equal weight by stepping up when one needs the other.

  • Be honest:

The key to a successful parenthood is being open with each other. The best way to get what one wants is to simply ask. If one is not happy with the way that your partner conducts things, the only solution is to tell the other. Make sure that during these opening-up sessions, steer clear of being judgmental towards each other.

  • Acknowledge each other:

It’s already established that parenthood is not an easy task. While it is the job of the parents to go to that extra mile in raising a child, it costs zero dollars in offering a word of appreciation or encouragement to your partner. This will boost confidence and will inspire each other during the whole process.

  • Make time for romance:

Yes, it is tough to even take a shower with a baby. But seek the help of friends and family to help you and your partner sneak some time to reconnect. If it is difficult to get some time away from the baby, engage in conversations and remind each other that you have the same love as before. Who knows? One thing may lead to another and you will be happy that you made time for each other.

emotional abuse

Suffering Emotional Abuse And walking Away From It

The beginning

Katy and Fred met through a couple of friends and they were off to a great start. Katy was somebody who suffered with mental health. But having met Fred, she felt like she found her place in the world. They both clicked instantly as they both dabbled with drugs and loved going to parties. Despite the fact that Katy did not get the proper medical attention for her mental health, the course of the relationship with Fred offered her temporary solution to her problems.

Marriage:

Fred and Katy decided that their partying days had to end and decided to get married and start a family. Katy claims that they had a loving relationship, but something felt amiss and she decided to ignore them anyway as Fred seemed supportive and non-judgmental of her mental problems. Katy would often find that money was missing from home and she would think that she was losing her mind.

Getting help:

Katy finally got help by going to a hospital and she was diagnosed with dysthymia. She took medication for it and everything was clearer to her. Later, she was able to notice that Fred’s behaviour was somehow off and with that, she found that Fred had incurred lots of debts. She was scarred when people came at their doors for asking the money that Fred had taken from them. She felt like her whole life was a complete lie.

Final blow:

Fred and Katy went for counselling to save their marriage. With time, they planned on a trip for their 10th year anniversary with some saved up money. But some things were never meant to be as some money went missing. It was Fred who stole it. Katy was heartbroken and knew there and then that Fred never cared for anyone but himself. She ended the marriage.

Rebirth:

Katy reconnected with friends and families and started afresh. As a victim of emotional abuse, it was not easy for her to get back on her feet. But as she took one step at a time, things have been better with the support of friends and families. As of today, Katy is a survivor and has learned to walk away from trauma by believing in herself.

counselling services

Key Benefits of Counselling

Almost everyone is familiar with the concept of counselling aka talking therapy, and its effectiveness has been a highly controversial topic over the years. But, no one can deny the fact that it has one of the best results amongst the sea of “therapy” or methods involved in treating psychological conditions such as depression, separation anxiety or any family related problems.

The intriguing aspect of counselling is that the end result is entirely dependent on the effort and commitment of the person seeking therapy.

Benefits of counselling

  • Analyze your thoughts from a different and professional perspective

When you’re able to express your feeling or thoughts into a verbal form, you are bound to feel elated. Also letting go of your feelings and telling it someone who is capable of providing you with a productive solution without any judgement is always a relief.

  • Incognito discussions

Professional counsellors are very strict about the privacy of their clients. It’s always more assuring when you know that the discussions are taking place in a completely “gossip-free” environment.

  • Set time to face your demons/feelings

When you feel strongly negative about something, you tend to avoid that as much as possible. However, our mind works in a completely different way. No matter how much you try to avoid that, it keeps pilling up all that feelings/ thoughts from inside, and it is bound to explode at some point. In fact, studies have shown that we tend to remember or do those things that we try our best to avoid. Hence, taking out time to discuss your feelings openly offers a better and more productive result

  • Neutral environment

This is particularly helpful for couple’s counselling. When they are given a non-partial neutral environment, it gives them a platform to share their views openly. This, in turn, ensures the best case scenario/ result that benefits both the parties equally

 Professional Counselling Assistance

We at “familymattersplus” ensure the best professional counselling to help you deal with various conditions that require counselling/ talking therapy. We offer services such as Depression therapy, Group counselling, Separation anxiety, Individual counselling, Couples counselling etc. For more information, visit https://www.familymattersplus.com.

a new life post divorce

Pursuing a New Life Post Divorce

Dealing with Divorce

We know the impact of a divorce and the struggles of starting a new life after a painful separation. The fear of financial instability, caring for the children in separate homes and dealing with single parenting are all relevant issues that many people seeking a divorce from their partners have to consider.

 Starting Fresh

The first step to establishing your self-esteem on your own is to get a clean break from the mess of the divorce by consulting a divorce lawyer who is familiar with family law. That way, you can be independent of your decisions and not share accountability for the success of your plans with your divorced partner.

You can consult a divorce lawyer or a family lawyer at http://abilaw.ca/ and start a new life, explore your abilities and creativity and have a successful career on your own even after divorce!

Setting a Clear Track

Many clients commit the mistake of jumping into a career out of desperation without considering the impact it will have on their family and the time it takes to commit to establish a stable job.

Consulting a family lawyer helps you determine the right path in choosing what is best for you, your family and your spouse with dignity and empathy without going against the law.

Choosing the Right Career

It can be challenging to support a family and have a stable career single-handedly at the same time. Starting a new life after a divorce requires you to invest your time in creating a new home and spare time to self-care as well.

So for starters, choosing a career that allows you work at your pace and channelling your energy into a positive routine where you can meet new people, explore new ideas and gain new perspective is an excellent place to start.

To find the right lawyer to support your future career decisions, you can discuss with a family lawyer at Abi Law.

If you are not sure of your potentials and where to begin, look for something online such as joining a hairdressing school in your locality where you can develop skills and learn online at your own pace.

marriage

Pornography Addiction Ruins Couple’s Marriage

What started as the perfect relationship for Jane (name changed) and her relationship with her childhood friend turned into a relationship nightmare because of his addiction to pornography.

The Red Flag

Being close friends and a couple who shared many experiences, Jane suspected that there was a dark secret with John*(name changed) behind his addiction to pornography. She eventually found out that he and many other kids were sexually abused from the age of 5 till he was 15 years old by a man that was close to their families.

The trauma of the sexual assault John faced further deepened when the sexual predator killed himself, and the victimized boys never got a trail in court.

After 13 years of marriage to John, Jane finally came into terms with the damage that the childhood trauma had caused on her husband and his addiction to porn.

The Impact

John was continuously anxious, aggressive or depressed and nervous about his privacy and he was defensive when she tried to talk to him about his masturbating habit and how it affected their relationship.

John had unrealistic expectations for her to be sexually satisfied within a few seconds just like the pornography that he watched. Since Jane could not live up to that expectation, she felt performance anxiety, distant and unattractive and even helpless though she wanted to care for him and help him.

It took a toll on their marriage when John refused to admit his addiction and made Jane feel betrayed and disrespected and hurt even though she was trying her best to be understanding.

Their 15 years marriage finally dissolved after they consulted a marriage counsellor. Jane could not see a reason to stay and had no assurance about their future and John wanted to start another life with a younger woman.

The Specialist

Dr.Smith, a clinical and forensic psychologist, explains that though the number of pornography addicts is less, addressing the issue becomes a problem. Even though it is not all related to childhood trauma, there are cases of past influences behind the addiction. The treatment is similar to drugs and alcohol abuse and involves various approaches that involve communicating and adapting.

He says that couples like Jane and John dealing with pornography addiction can seek help from couples therapy or sex therapy where they can find common grounds of understanding, abstinence and controlled usage if they want to save the relationship.